Episode 13: The Power of Curiosity with Mónica Guzmán

Author, educator, activist, curiosity catalyst and Braver Angel Mónica Guzmán. Photo credit ©Jason Preston.

“When did you lose your curiosity? And what did you get in return?”

That’s a question I often asked when I was teaching, and continue to put out there when I speak or at workshops.

The answers reveal a concerningly consistent response: that somewhere in the early teens most of us feel that we have to leave our open-minded, questioning, wonder-full ways of thought behind and enter the knowing, answer-oriented ways of the Adult World.

Celebrated psychologist Alison Gopnik, echoed by her husband Alvy Ray Smith, of Pixar fame, talk about the shift in curiosity as children grow from the wide-eyed wonder of their early days and into the answer-oriented “knowers” they learn to be in life.

In “I Never Thought of it That Way,” her bestselling book about having “curious conversations in dangerously divided times,” the remarkable Mónica Guzmán explains how.

There was a time when I blamed “the system” for this. Several systems, actually: the educational system, our overall culture, the conditioned ways parents raise their children, all kinds of external forces.

Yet the loss of curiosity is also biologically driven to some extent: the brain’s way of organizing itself and “maturing” across the first 20-ish years of life do greatly affect the thinking, emotional processing, memory management, and “knowledge as narrative” that we call on so often in adult life.

Yet that gift of curiosity isn’t gone. It’s simply been deprioritized for a variety of reasons, nature and nurture. And that which has been deprioritized in the brain can be brought back into the spotlight – or the far-seeing lantern, as Alison and Alvy Ray would say.

Mónica, this episode’s guest, literally wrote the book on how, especially when it comes to conflictual divides.

At the base of the brain’s limbic system are the amygdalae – one on the right, one on the left – two small “almonds” that control the survival based “fight or flight” response – also known as the “amygdala hijack.”

The brain often doesn’t differentiate between “threat to ego or identity” – or even to beliefs – and threat to life. Hence, the all-to-frequent survival-level reactions to things like differences in opinions, perceived or real disrespect, or even disagreement on ideas.

Curiosity – being able to unhinge from a position and listen openly to other points of view, is a practice: one that any of us can activate, develop, and master.

”I Never Thought of it That Way” explores how.

Mónica shares the one sentence she had to say to bewilder and disorient her liberal friends – and what she did to bridge the divide. A great talk; highly recommended.

Mónica sharing her vision on the Braver Angels podcast. Learn more about Braver Angels, a grassroots organization bridging the divide between political factions in the US, at www.braverangels.org

Mónica and I shared a lively conversation at the 2022 Dent Conference in Santa Fe, NM. Photo credit ©Jason Preston / Dent. Learn more at www.dentthefuture.com

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